


Pegasus Rising

by Theatregirl7299



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Horseback Riding, Horses, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Rehabilitation, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 03:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9216743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theatregirl7299/pseuds/Theatregirl7299
Summary: Jared's latest party-life transgression sends him to a new kind of rehab: equine therapy, a melding of counseling along with horse care and riding. He doesn't really care as long as he can get it done and get back to filming his new movie. He's been to rehab before and knows what to expect. What he doesn't expect is who runs the equine center—his first love, Jensen Ackles.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Written for my entry in [](http://j2-reversebang.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://j2-reversebang.livejournal.com/)**j2_reversebang**. Thank you Amber for giving me the extra days.
> 
> I have so many people to thank, but first and foremost is [](http://milly-gal.livejournal.com/profile)[**milly_gal**](http://milly-gal.livejournal.com/). Her art that you can find [ HERE](http://milly-gal.livejournal.com/1576472.html) was so inspiring and she was so patient with me when I would ask for certain pieces and change others. It was such a joy working with her and I hope to do it again soon. Love you, BB!
> 
> Next is [](http://firesign10.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://firesign10.livejournal.com/)**firesign10** my trusty beta. She edited this in pieces as I sent and did a bang up job, plus she encouraged me and cheered me on and offered such wonderful advice.
> 
> Finally [](http://miri-thompson.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://miri-thompson.livejournal.com/)**miri_thompson** who wars with me and Carole almost every night. You keep me on the straight and narrow. Thank you!

  
  


WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

May 21, 2016

**Jared Padalecki in Court - _Again_**

**Oscar-winning actor and Hollywood bad boy Jared Padalecki is at it again.**

The big screen hottie pled guilty to reckless driving in Los Angeles Superior Court today. Padalecki was arrested after running his Porsche into a guardrail after leaving the after-party of his new movie “Night Moves”. Rumor has it that over an ounce of pot as well as various prescription drugs and alcohol were found at the scene of the accident, and Padalecki blew a .1, but nothing has been confirmed.

Sentencing will occur next week, but sources say he’ll slip by with a slap on the wrist like always, thanks to his agent and legal team.

_Do you think Padalecki should be let off without punishment?_

“All rise for the honorable Judge Richings.”

Jared stood and smoothed down the tails of his suit jacket. He waited silently as the judge sat at the bench and watched as he flipped open the file folder in front of him. Jared had been before Judge Richings before and knew the man didn’t tolerate any crap in his courtroom.

Chad, however, was twitching like he normally did and Jared knew if he didn’t calm his attorney down, Richings was going to cite them for contempt.

“Stay still,” he hissed in Chad’s general direction, hoping that Richings wouldn’t hear him.

No such luck.

“Do you have something to say, Mr. Padalecki?” The judge regarded him with a raised eyebrow.

“No, your Honor.” Jared smiled weakly.

“Hmmmm…” Richings turned his attention back to the file.

The courtroom was quiet except for the squeaking of the overhead fans and the dull roar of the traffic outside. Security had kept the paparazzi at bay in the lower atrium at Riching’s request. Jared was thankful for that – he didn’t want to face the media until he’d heard what his sentence was.

He still couldn’t believe the mess he’d gotten himself into this time. The party had started out just fine: food, booze and good music. Everyone was celebrating the wrap of the movie, Jared especially. It had been a rough shoot. Several stunt people had gotten injured when some rigging had collapsed and that caused them to fall behind schedule.

They’d cut scenes and worked long hours to make up the time, but it had taken its toll on everyone. Jared had found himself mainlining Red Bull and coffee to stay awake and his prescription for sleep aids and pot to come down. He knew they were a bad combination, but it was the only way he could stay on top of the shooting schedule.

Of course it didn’t help that Jared’s co-star and on-screen love interest, newcomer Zoe Stewart, had decided that life should imitate art and stalked him whenever they were not filming. The last straw was when he found her naked in his trailer. He’d had Clif discreetly get her dressed and out of his trailer while he placed a call to Alaina, his agent, informing her that she needed to talk to the Powers that Be about getting Zoe under control.

He sighed to himself. Things had gotten better until the wrap party. The perfect storm of Zoe making a last ditch effort to get him into her bed, the last intense days of filming, and his on-again off-again boyfriend, Damien, claiming via text that Jared had cheated on him – he hadn’t – had left him needing something serious to relax.

Half a bottle of tequila, several beers, and a few joints later, he’d been feeling no pain. At least not until he’d slammed his Porsche into the guard rail. He shifted, wincing at the twinge of pain from his ribcage.

Now he was here, standing in front of Judge Richings for the third time, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t wind up in jail.

Richings closed the file and took off his reading glasses. He stared at Jared intently, making him feel like he was standing in front of his old high school principal.  
  
“Mr. Padalecki, I’m disappointed that I’m seeing you in my courtroom yet again.”

“Yes, your honor, I’m very sorry.” Jared kept his voice deferential. He knew better than to say it wouldn’t happen again; that promise had been made and broken the last time he was in front of the judge.

“Well…” Judge Richings paused and sighed. “I was hoping that the last time you appeared before me, you would have learned your lesson. But that doesn’t seem to be the case.”

“However, you seem to be blessed.” The judge picked up a piece of paper. “Your attorney has negotiated a lesser sentence. The DUI charge will be reduced to reckless driving and the possession charge will be dismissed…”

Jared grinned and nudged Chad, thrilled that he’d come through and made a deal. He startled when Richings barked at him.

“Pay attention, Mr. Padalecki!”

“Yes, sir, sorry sir.”

“The lesser sentence will only be applied _if_ you attend a Court-approved rehabilitation program. Once you’ve successfully completed it, the charges will be reduced.”

Jared couldn’t believe it. He had to go to rehab?

“What the -?” he whispered to Chad. “You’re sending me to rehab?”

“It’s the only way I could get the charges reduced,” Chad whispered out of the corner of his mouth. “Just go with it.”

“Since you have participated in several rehabilitation programs in the past with varying degrees of success, your attorney and I have agreed to a different type of rehab facility. He’ll fill you in on the details.”

 _Different type of facility?_ Jared was confused. _What sort of thing had Chad gotten him into?_ He started to imagine all sorts of dark, scary locations with Nurse Ratchett-type employees. “Chad…” he began, only to be cut off by Judge Richings asking him to approach the bench.

Warily Jared walked up to the front of the courtroom. Richings leaned over the bench and gazed at him for a long moment. His deep dark stare coupled with his black robe reminded Jared of a vulture. It made him shiver.

“Mr. Padalecki.” Richings paused as though he was considering his words. “You seem like a nice young man who has made some less than wise choices. This is your opportunity to get yourself turned around. I would like to see that happen. Please think about it.”

He leaned back and rapped his gavel. “Court adjourned.”

Jared let out the breath he hadn’t been aware that he’d been holding and walked back to the table where Chad was packing up his papers.

“We’re going to sneak you out the back of the courthouse and hopefully avoid the paps.” Chad snapped his case closed. “I told Richings that you’re scheduled to fly out to the rehab facility this weekend.”

“Wait, fly out? Where the hell is this place? And why didn’t you tell me you’d made a deal?”

“Because I’d just gotten it cleared with Sheppard Studios this morning.” Chad ushered him out the side door and down the fire stairs. “I didn’t have time to fill you in.”

“What’s the studio have to do with this?”

“They’re concerned that the cast insurance premiums will be too high to keep you for “Supernatural,” Chad replied, referring to the new movie Jared had just signed on for. “Rehab is the only way they would agree to not recast.”

“Shit!” Jared opened the door to the underground garage. “I can’t lose this film, Chad. I’ve been fighting for the role of Sam Winchester for months.”

“I know, I know.” Jared saw Chad glance around, then quickly lead them to his car. “Sheppard talked to his insurance agent and was able to convince him to write a policy that would lower the premiums as long as you completed a successful stint in rehab.”

“Okay…okay.” Jared slid in to the front seat of the car. “I can do this. How long do I have to go?”

“Three months.” Chad started the car and backed them out of the parking spot.

“Three months! Are you fucking nuts? I can’t go to rehab for three months!” Jared knew he was shouting but he couldn’t believe what Chad had just told him.

“It’s only ninety days and Sheppard has agreed to slide pre-production up to accommodate you.” Chad’s voice was flat as he drove them past the paparazzi waiting outside the courthouse. “And frankly, Jay-man, you’re getting off light. You could have been sentenced to jail time AND lost the movie. So stop being so self–centered and be thankful for once.”

Jared gaped at him. They’d been friends since grade school when Chad stole his Matchbox cars and wouldn’t give them back until Jared shared his Oreos with him, but he’d never heard Chad use that tone of voice with him before. He looked at his friend and realized that Chad was angry – really angry. And for good reason. Jared _was_ being selfish.

“You’re right and I’m sorry. It’s just…” He faltered, trying to find the words.

“I know, dude. I get it.” Chad turned the corner and headed towards Jared’s house. “You can do this. And, let’s face it, you need the time off anyway. So, two birds with one stone as they say.”

“Yeah. I guess.” Jared was quiet for a moment, considering Chad’s words. “So where am I going? The Dunes?” he asked, mentioning the luxury rehab center in the Hamptons and hoping that was what the judge had meant by different.

“Nope.” Chad changed lanes, ignoring the horns blaring as he cut off drivers in the right lane.

“The one in Key Largo?” Jared had heard good things about that center. Plus it was on the ocean.

“Nope,” Chad said again.

“Okay…” Jared was getting that bad feeling again. “So where am I going?”

“Jay-man!” Chad’s voice echoed through the house as he followed Jared into the kitchen. “C’mon!”

“No, Chad!” Jared opened the refrigerator door and grabbed a bottle of water. Unscrewing the cap, he drained half of it.

“You have to!” Chad caught up with him. “It’s what the court ordered.”

“No – the court ordered that I have to go to rehab. Not that it has to be in Texas.” He finished the water and threw the bottle into the recycle bin. “Find someplace else. Anywhere else.”

“I can’t.” Chad gestured helplessly. “This is the only place that Sheppard and the courts both agreed to. You have to go.”

“You know I don’t want to go back to Texas. I haven’t been back since the dust-up with my folks.” Jared sighed, remembering the argument he’d had with his parents about dropping out of UCLA and trying his hand at acting. Things had mellowed after a while, and he talked to them on the phone nowadays, but he hadn’t gone back to visit at all. “Not gonna happen.”

Chad looked at him, sighed, and pulled out his phone. “Okay then.”

“Who are you calling?”

“Alaina, so she can contact Sheppard and tell him that you’re pulling out of ‘Supernatural’.”

“Wait, no!” Jared tried to grab the phone, but Chad danced away from him. “You can’t do that!”

“If you don’t go to the Texas center we picked, you’ve got no choice, dude.” Chad threw back at him. “It’s your only option.”

“Shit.” Jared sank down onto one of the stools at the kitchen counter and ran his hand through his hair. This was not going how he’d envisioned at all. “What’s so special about this place?”

“It’s an equine therapy center.” Chad sat down next to him.

Jared looked up at Chad in confusion. “A what?”

“Equine therapy center. It’s where they use horses to help the clients.” Chad thumbed through his phone. “It’s called the Pegasus Center.”

“I thought that was only for people with physical disabilities.”

“Nope. Equine therapy’s used with PTSD patients, folks with special needs like autism, addicts, you name it.” He passed Jared his phone. The web page that was up showed a child with Down’s Syndrome seated on a pony with an instructor next to her. “The Center’s located outside Austin. Sheppard’s going to fly you down privately so the press doesn’t know where you’ve gone. It’s part of the agreement with the Director of the place.”

“Okay.” Jared passed the phone back. “It’s different anyway.”

“Yeah, and maybe this time it’ll stick.” Chad looked at him, his face solemn.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I worry about you.” Chad put his hand on Jared’s shoulder. “You’ve been heading towards a bad place for a while now, and every time you’ve been to rehab I’ve hoped that it would be the last time.”

Jared was shocked. He had no clue that Chad was that concerned about him. “Wow. I…just…wow…”

“So, maybe you’ll take it a bit more seriously this time? Some of us care about you, dude.” Chad blushed.

Jared had to smile. Hearing his friend say he cared sent a warm feeling through him. “I’ll take it seriously, I promise.”

“Great. Now get me a beer, bitch.” Chad grinned at Jared as he sat back.

“I thought not drinking was part of the rehab process.” Jared got up and headed to the fridge for Chad’s drink.

“For you maybe, but I need a drink after today.” Chad waved a hand at Jared.

Laughing, Jared grabbed a Yuengling and a bottle of Perrier and sat back down. He put the beer in front of Chad and twisted off the cap of the mineral water. Holding it out, he and Chad clinked bottles.

“So what should I expect and what do I need to take with me?” he asked Chad.

“Hang on.” Chad flipped through his phone again. “Got an email from the coordinator. Says you need to bring comfortable clothes for riding and everyday work related to caring for horses. Jeans, t-shirts, oh and boots if you have them…” Jared watched as Chad scanned the email. “Ok, here. ‘Therapy will consist of one-on-one counseling sessions augmented with interaction and care of the Center’s equine residents. Mr. Padalecki will be assigned a counselor and a horse for the duration of his stay.’”

He looked up at Jared. “Actually, it sounds pretty neat. Might be what you need.”

“Yeah.” Jared spoke slowly. “You’re right.” He thought about the accident and the alcohol and the drugs that had begun to take over his life. “Might be _exactly_ what I need.”

The black SUV bounced over the gravel road, jarring Jared awake. Groaning, he glanced over at Chad, who was snoring slightly as he leaned against the passenger side window.

They’d left before the ass-crack of dawn – more like the middle of the night, he’d bitched to Chad – to avoid any photographers that might be camped out at his house. Sheppard’s people had set up the escort and the plane so there would be no overt link to Jared. As part of the Court’s direction, Chad had to accompany Jared to the Center and check him in.

Sheppard had insisted on the stealthy nature of the trip. Frankly, Jared thought it was a bit over the top, and he and Chad had gotten a laugh out of the thought that Mark was trying to be James Bond.

The jet was nice, and Jared appreciated the leg room and the coffee. Chad had busied himself with emails and files, telling Jared that this wasn’t a vacation and that he had other clients besides Jared. Jared had tossed a creamer at him, hitting him square in the forehead.

While Chad was working, Jared had spent part of the time looking out the window of the plane, wondering what kind of facility they’d checked him into. Chad had refused to tell him anything more about it, even though Jared tried to bribe him with a case of his favorite limited edition tequila and Skybox seats to the Cowboys-Seahawks game.

They’d been met by another black SUV with tinted windows at the private hanger of Austin-Bergstrom Airport. Jared had begun to feel the early hour and had drifted off as the SUV drove out of Austin towards Dripping Springs.

Jared stretched and looked out the window. They were travelling down a dirt road with the Hill Country spread out before them. Rolling hills, so different than downtown Austin, were interspersed with green fields and Texas live oak. Dark wood fencing paralleled the road and Jared could see cows and horses in the fields, leisurely cropping the grass.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye Jared saw a gorgeous grey horse racing towards the fence. He watched, enthralled, as it picked up speed, its mane and tail streaming out like banners behind it, its dark eyes sparkling in challenge as it picked up speed, challenging the SUV to an impromptu derby. Jared quickly rolled the window down, sticking his head out so he could watch the animal pull up at the edge of the field, its head bobbing up and down as it veered off and ran back towards the middle of the field.

“Close the window, man.” Chad’s voice was hoarse. “You’re letting in the fresh air.”

Jared chuckled and rolled the window back up. “It’s good for you.”

“Nah, man. I’m conditioned for LA smog. This fresh air shit’ll kill you.”

Jared laughed again. “Whatever.” He was about to speak when they pulled up to a gate. The stone column had a simple wooden plaque attached with “The Pegasus Center” and two winged horses carved into it. The driver pressed the intercom button and announced them. The gate slid open and they passed through.

The SUV stopped in front of a sprawling farmhouse. Jared got out of the car, grabbing his bag, and studied the building.

It was beautiful; stone and cedar with deep green shutters and a wraparound porch. The dog that had been sleeping on the porch stood and stretched, then headed toward Jared, its tail wagging in welcome. He bent down to rub its ears and got a sloppy kiss for his trouble. Chuckling, he straightened. So far everything looked good.

An older man opened the door and walked out onto the porch. “Hey there.” He held out his hand for Jared to shake. “I’m Doctor Jeffrey Dean Morgan, medical director of the Pegasus Center. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jared.”

Morgan had a firm handshake and an easy grin. Instinctively, Jared warmed to him, but figured that was the point. “Can’t say it’s a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Morgan.”

Morgan burst out laughing at his comment. “No, I guess not. But we’ll change that, I promise. Oh, and call me Jeffrey Dean or JD, everyone else does. We don’t really stand on formality here, at least in terms of names.” He gestured towards the door. “C’mon in. We’ll get you settled and introduce you around.”

Jared followed him up the stairs and into the house, the dog and Chad trailing after them. The inside of the house was as beautiful as the exterior; warm woods and leather overstuffed couches with colorful horse blankets covering the backs.

“JR’s the owner of the Center and also director of the equine therapy portion of our program. He lives here and lets us use it for orientation – more homey that way.” Jeff headed towards the stairs. “Normally our in-house clients stay in the various facilities depending on the specific reason they’re here, but in your case, we felt it would be better for you if you stayed here in the main house.”

“Okay…” Jared trailed off. “I don’t need any special treatment...,” he began.

“Oh you’re not gonna get any.” Jeff chuckled. “You’re gonna work as hard as anyone else. JR figured you’d want some down time, and the clients know that the main house is off limits when it’s not being used for Center business.” He looked at Jared and winked. “But it’s the only concession you’re getting.”

Jared smiled. “I can live with that.”

Jeff stopped in front of a closed door. “Here’s your room. House is old so there’s a communal bathroom down the hall. JR’s room is over there.” He pointed to another door. “He’s out checking the pasture fences, but he’ll be back for dinner. Which will be outside at the fire pit tonight.”

“So, the clients and staff eat together?” Jared had never heard of that before. In the other rehab places he’d been in, the staff kept separate meal times.

“Once a week we do. It’s kind of an official welcome and a milestone celebration. The folks who come here may all have different goals, but achieving them is a success that everyone can celebrate. So we do.” Jeff opened the door. “Go ahead and get settled, then come downstairs to the kitchen. I figured you boys haven’t had breakfast yet. We can do your orientation while you eat.”

Jeff left them to head downstairs. Jared put his duffle on the bed. The room was spacious and comfortable; a king bed – thank god – with a homemade quilt in blues and greens covering it taking up most of the space. A dresser, nightstand, lamps and desk finished out the décor.

“So,” Chad asked. “What do you think?”

“Okay, I guess, but I don’t really know anything yet, Chad.” Jared unpacked his duffle and placed his clothes in the drawers.

“But you’ll see it through no matter what?”

The hairs on the back of Jared’s neck prickled. Chad only used that tone of voice when he was trying to hide something from Jared. “What, Chad?”

“Huh?” Chad’s face was innocent – or at least what Chad thought of as innocent. To Jared he just looked squinty and constipated.

“There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“No, nothing.” Chad’s eyes shifted to the door. “Let’s go get breakfast, okay?” He hurried out of the room and Jared heard him head down the stairs.

Sighing, Jared tossed his duffle into the closet and went to join them in the kitchen.

During what was probably the best breakfast Jared had ever had in his life, Jeff introduced more of the staff and explained what Jared should expect during his stay.

Jared met the two Sams – both counselors, one specializing in autism and the other in substance abuse – Steve, Matt, Chris and Felicia, the equine therapy instructors, and Rich and Rob, the physical therapists on staff.

“I’m going to be handling your therapy sessions due to the fact that the other counselors have a full load,” Jeff said. “Chris, here,” he nodded at the man sitting at the end of the table. “He’ll be your equine therapy instructor. You ever been around horses?”

“Been a while.” Jared sipped his coffee and found himself sliding back into the cadence of his childhood. “My Daddy said no self-respecting Texan didn’t know how to ride.”

Chris grinned. “I thought I heard a twang. You’re from San Antonio right?”  
  
“Originally. Then my parents moved to Austin when I was in elementary.” Jared set his cup down. “Haven’t been on a horse since high school.”

“We’ll fix that,” Chris said, looking Jared up and down. “With your size I think we’ll give you Apollo.”

Jared saw Jeff frown. “You sure, Chris? JR said…”

“JR’s not here is he?” Chris interrupted. “I’m giving him Apollo.”

Confused, Jared looked between the two of them. Something was going on, but he wasn’t sure what.

“Ok, so as I was saying, Chris will help you with the horse portion of your time and I’ll take care of the counseling part.” Jeff started collecting the plates from the table. “We’ll meet this afternoon for our first session, but now I think it’s time for you to meet Apollo.”

Chris finished his coffee and stood. “Ready to go?”

Jared wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Let’s do this. Chad, you okay to hang around here?”

“Yeah. I’ve got to finish the paperwork to admit you before I can head out.” Chad held out his cup for the refill Jeff offered. “I’ll find you before I go.”

Jared stood, squared his shoulders and took a deep breath. “Let’s go meet Apollo.”

Chris took them over to the fence at the corner of the farmhouse. “Apollo’s out in the field so we’ll need to bring him in so you can meet him.” He pursed his lips and let out a piercing whistle – once, twice, three times. Turning to Jared, he grinned and took an apple out of his pocket. “Give him a bit to get here. He likes to pretend that he’s in charge.”

Jared watched as Chris cut the apple into pieces. He took several of the slices that Chris held out to him. “Bribery?” he asked with a grin.

“Nope. Apollo will decide if he likes you, and no amount of bribery will make him change his mind.” Chris popped an apple slice in his mouth.

“What if he decides he _doesn’t_ like me?” Jared’s brow furrowed.

Chris grin widened, bits of apple showing. “Then I guess you’re shit out of luck.”

 _Great._ All he needed was his damn horse to hate him. Suddenly, things didn’t look as positive as they had during breakfast.  
  
His attention was captured by the thudding of hooves on the ground. Galloping up to the fence was the grey horse he’d seen racing them as they came in. It pulled up right in front of them and snorted as if to say ‘I’m here.’

“Hey boy.” Chris held out his hand and the horse nuzzled it. “This is Apollo.” He scratched the horse under his chin. “Best way to introduce yourself is to hold out your hand and talk soft. An apple slice can’t hurt.”

Jared slowly held out his hand flat, the apple piece in the center of his palm. “Hey there, Apollo.” Apollo regarded him, his ears twitching forward. “You’re a handsome boy.”

“Say your name. That way he’ll get use to the sound of it,” Chris said.

“Um…I’m Jared.” He felt stupid introducing himself to a horse, but it seemed to register. Apollo took one step closer, then one step back as though he wasn’t sure if he liked Jared. “I’ve got a treat for you. Nice piece of apple.” Jared held the slice higher. “You’ll love it.”

He watched as Apollo studied him, flicking his tail and scenting him.

“He’s sizing you up,” Chris whispered. “Deciding if you’re worth his time. Keep eye contact; it’ll let him know you’re not scared of him.”

Jared did, trying to put confidence and friendliness in his gaze. “C’mon, Apollo. Just wanna be friends.”

Apollo wheeled away and ran the length of fence line.

“Shit.” Jared cursed under his breath. The horse hated him. “Now what?”

“Just wait.” Chris was grinning. “He’s testing you. Checking to see if you’re gonna give up. He’ll be back.”

Chris was right. A few moments later Apollo trotted back up to the fence and butted Jared with his head.

“Oof!” Jared almost dropped the apple slice, but Apollo snatched it from his hand and started munching. “Hey there, Apollo. Guess you like me after all.”

Apollo snorted, bobbing his head and lifting Jared’s hair with his breath, then nudged him again, looking for more of the apple.

“Hang on, I’ll get you some.” Jared held out his hand for Chris to give him another piece. “Here you go.” He fed the slice to Apollo and petted his neck as the horse chewed. Looking at Chris over Apollo’s nose, he asked, “Okay, what’s next?”

“Gotta bring him to the barn and get you trained on brushing and feeding. Normally JR takes care of that and Apollo’ll follow him around like a puppy, but we’re gonna need his halter for you since he doesn’t know you yet.”

Chris walked over to the fence post and picked up the halter. “Jeff told me you were coming this morning so I grabbed it before breakfast. Have you ever put a halter on a horse?”

“A few times, but it’s been a while back.” Jared took the halter Chris held out. He studied it, trying to remember how to put it on. “What’s the difference between a halter and a bridle?”

“Good question and one you’ll need to know the answer to.” Chris pointed at the halter. “Halters are used primarily to lead and tie the horse and don’t have a bit. Bridles are for riding or driving the horse. You’ll be working with both. Now let’s see how much you remember.”

Jared slipped the halter over Apollo’s head and for the most part got it right. Chris helped him tighten it and clipped on the lead. Apollo stood patiently while they put it on.

“Good boy,” Jared praised him and grinned when Apollo nodded his head like he was agreeing with him. “And modest.”

Chris chuckled. “Oh, Apollo has an attitude. Just like JR. Always said they shared a brain and temperament.”

Jared chuckled. “Can’t wait to meet this JR guy you folks keep talking about. Especially if you’re comparing him to a horse.” They headed into the barn, Apollo trailing behind them. Chris stopped in front of a stall with Apollo’s name carved into the door.

“This is your home away from home for the next three months. We have the horses on a schedule for feeding, mucking out the stalls, brushing, riding. You’ll get that schedule this evening after dinner. For now, let’s just go over the tools for taking care of this big guy.” He gestured at a hook on the post by the door and Jared tied Apollo’s lead to it.

Chris walked Jared through the grooming tools, showing him how each one was used. “JR groomed him before he went out to check the fence lines but a little brushing won’t hurt him and he’ll love you for it.” Chris handed Jared what he called the ‘soft brush’. “Start at his neck and avoid his face and eyes.”

Jared followed Chris’s instructions, and as he ran the brush over Apollo’s skin he felt the horse shudder. “You like this?” he crooned to Apollo, losing himself in the repetitive motions of the brush.

Apollo nickered and nibbled Jared’s shoulder.

“Kane! Where the hell are you?” a rough voice called from outside, startling Jared.

“In the barn, JR, don’t get your panties in a wad,” Chris hollered back.

Jared ducked under Apollo’s head to see the infamous JR.

The sun streaming through the barn doors backlit him, casting him into shadow. All Jared could see was a tall, male figure striding into the barn with a confident swagger.

“What the hell are you doing in here, Kane? You should be…” JR stopped, his voice trailing off. “Jared?”

Jared froze. He knew that voice. It had haunted his dreams for ten years and lived in his heart for even longer. “Jensen?” he whispered.

Jensen moved deeper into the barn and Jared could finally see him.

He hadn’t changed, really. He was still beautiful.

Dark hair cut short against his head, the sweaty strands sticking to his temples; freckles dancing across the bridge of his sunburnt nose; that mouth that always had an easy grin for friends and strangers alike.

He’d filled out since Jared had last laid eyes on him. The slender ethereal boy he’d known growing up seemed to have sprung full bore into a solid force of nature. Broad shoulders, narrow waist, bowed legs. The quintessential cowboy in flannel and denim.

But it was his eyes that captivated Jared. Wide with shock, they drew him in, green like meadowgrass, deep cool forests, the finest emeralds. He’d forgotten how mesmerizing they were and how he loved losing himself in them.

Like he was doing now.

There were lines at the corners. Not wrinkles from age, but from laughter and experience. They suited Jensen.

“I…didn’t know you were here yet.” Jensen stammered.

 _Wait, what?_ What the hell did he mean ‘didn’t know Jared was here yet’? “What…” he began.

“You know him, JR?” Chris’s question interrupted Jared.

“Yeah. We…grew up together…” Jensen broke their gaze, his face shuttering.

“Well damn, son. Why didn’t you tell me you knew a movie star? Could have gotten me a date with Paris Hilton.”

“You wouldn’t want one. She’s a bitch.” Jared replied. He stepped toward Jensen. “What are you doing here? And what did you mean you didn’t know I was here yet?”

“Chad said you’d be coming in later today.” Jensen’s tone was emotionless.

“You talked to Chad?” Jared felt his anger begin to bubble. “When?”

“When he made arrangements with me for you to come here.”

Jared’s stomach twisted. Jensen knew what brought him here. How Jared had screwed up and almost ruined his life. Memories of what had happened before he’d left Austin for Hollywood washed over him.

“Made arrangements?” he choked out, bile rising in his throat. “With you…”

“Yeah. I’m the director and owner of The Pegasus Center.” Jensen shrugged. “We needed to get the details in place.”

Jared’s rage boiled over. “I’m gonna kill him.”

He whirled around and strode to the main house. He needed to have a word with Chad.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Pegasus Rising: Part Two   
**Author:**   
**Artist:**   
**Fandom:** Supernatural   
**Characters/Pairings:** Jensen/Jared, Chris Kane, Chad Michael Murray, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Julian Richings, Felicia Day, Steve Carlson, Mentions of Rob Benedict and Richard Speight, April (OC)  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Word Count:** 16,833  
 **Spoilers:** None   
**Beta Credit** :   
**Warnings:** None  
 **Summary:** Jared's latest party-life transgression sends him to a new kind of rehab: equine therapy, a melding of counseling along with horse care and riding. He doesn't really care as long as he can get it done and get back to filming his new movie. He's been to rehab before and knows what to expect. What he doesn't expect is who runs the equine center—his first love, Jensen Ackles. 

 

Chad was sitting at the kitchen counter talking to Jeffrey Dean when Jared stormed into the house.

“Hey, dude-” was all he got out before Jared decked him. Chad went down, taking the kitchen stool with him. “What the hell!” 

Chad scrambled up, narrowly missing Jared’s second attempt to punch him. He danced backwards as Jeff grabbed Jared’s arm.

“Calm down!” Jeff hollered as Jared struggled in his grip. 

“What the fuck was that for?” Chad wiggled his jaw and hissed at the pain. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jared lunged at Chad, only to be hauled back by Jeff. “You knew he was here and you didn’t tell me!”

Chad’s eyes grew big and he started to stammer. “Jay-man…I had no choice, okay?”

“What do you mean you had no choice? All you had to say was ‘Hey Jared, guess what? Jensen owns the rehab center you’re going to.’” Jared shrugged off Jeff’s grip and began to pace. “I thought you were my friend.”

“C’mon, man. I am. I couldn’t tell you.”

“Why not?” Jared planted himself in front of Chad. “Why couldn’t you tell me?”

“Because I asked him not to.” Jensen was leaning against the door way, his arms folded. “I told him I wouldn’t allow you to be treated here if you knew ahead of time.”

Jensen pushed himself off the door jamb and stepped into the kitchen. “I think you need to apologize to Chad. He was just looking out for you.”

Jared whirled on him. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“As far as I can see, I’m the one keeping you out of jail. So it probably would be a good thing not to piss me off.”

Jared stared at him in shock. 

Jensen just stared back, his face composed.

Jared took a deep breath to calm himself. Feeling like a child scolded by a parent, he said, “I’m sorry for punching you, Chad.”

“No worries.” Chad grinned slightly. “I’d probably have done the same thing.”

Jared looked around at the men standing in the room and knew he had to get away or he would say something he’d regret. Pushing past Jeff, he left without a word and took the steps upstairs, two at a time. 

He entered his room, wanting desperately to slam the door like he’d done when he was a teenager, but closing it simply instead. He flopped on the bed, buried his face in the pillow and started cursing.

After he finished his shouting match with the pillow, Jared rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling, thinking of Jensen.

 _Who the hell did Jensen think he was?_ Jared wondered angrily. His rational side replied, _The guy who’s gonna keep you out of jail, like he said, dumbass._

Jared sighed, the anger draining out of him. It wouldn’t do him any good to be pissed at Jensen. But it was going to be difficult to be around him with their shared history. Maybe he could just avoid him.

That idea crashed and burned with a knock on his door. “Jared?” Jensen’s voice was muffled. “Can I come in, please?”

Jared had half a mind to say no, but he knew it was fruitless. If Jensen was as stubborn now as he was when they were younger, he’d stand outside the door until Jared let him in.

“Yeah.” He sat up and scooted to the top of the bed.

The door opened slowly and Jensen peeked around it. If Jared wasn’t feeling so pissy, he would have laughed at the cautious expression on Jensen’s face.

“You can come in. I’m not going to punch you. I save that for Chad.” 

Jensen chuckled as he came in. “I wasn’t sure. You’ve…grown…since I last saw you in person.”

Jared felt himself blushing. “Yeah. Not that scrawny kid that left for college.” He winced at the words, remembering the major fight they’d had when he left for UCLA. It was the last time he and Jensen had spoken.

Jensen seemed to let that slide. He gestured at the desk chair and raised an eyebrow. Jared nodded and watched as Jensen straddled it, resting his arms on the back.

They both began to speak.

“So how are-” 

“It’s good to see-” 

They both broke off and Jensen chuckled. “You first.”

“Um…you look good,” Jared began. “Owning the Center seems to agree with you.”

“Thanks. It’s definitely been an experience.” Jensen smiled. “I love it though.”

“When did you start this? Last I’d heard you were studying to be a physical therapist.” Jared wouldn’t admit it, but he’d weaseled information about Jensen out of his brother Jeff.

“Actually, it was the perfect storm. I needed an internship to graduate and a friend recommended this place. I came to work and haven’t left.” Jensen rubbed the back of his neck. “The Director was retiring and wanted to sell the place, so here I am.”   
He caught Jared’s gaze. “But enough about me. I think the real question is, why are _you_ here, Jared?”

Jared grimaced. “I’m sure you’ve seen the gossip mags. It’s been full of it.”

Jensen smiled. “I don’t read those things. And even if I did, they don’t tell the full story.” He paused, and Jared could tell he was waiting for him to speak.

Taking a deep breath, Jared started, “I ran my car into a guardrail after the wrap party for my last movie. The Court ordered me to attend rehab or face jail time. The producer of my next movie, the Court and Chad arranged for me to come here.” It sounded like he was reading off a cue card, and badly at that.

Jensen looked at him in silence. It made Jared cringe but he didn’t speak.

Jensen sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Okay, Jared. That’s the public story, but why are you _really_ here?” 

“Because I’m a fuckup.” Jared knew his tone was bitter. “And according to Chad I haven’t been able to get past it.” Better to get it out and over with now. 

“Do you think Chad’s right?” Jensen’s voice was neutral.

‘No’ was on the tip of Jared’s tongue but what came out was “I don’t know, maybe?” He groaned at the words, blushing and feeling utterly foolish.

Jensen smiled softly. “For what it’s worth, Jared, I don’t think you’re a fuckup. Just a bit misguided.” Jensen’s smile grew wider. “And this is the perfect place to find your way.”

“I hope so.” Jared was surprised to realize he meant it.

Jensen smiled and stood. “Believe it or not, it’s good to see you, Jared.”

Jared scoffed. “I’m not sure I believe that, given the circumstances.”

“You should.” Jensen paused. “It’s _really_ good to see you.” Pausing at the door, he said, “Okay, I need to go. Got to go back out and check a few more fences.”

“Okay.” Jared surprised himself by yawning.

Jensen looked at his watch. “Can I make a suggestion?”

“Sure,” Jared said cautiously.

“It’s 10 AM. You don’t have to see JD until 2. You should crash for a few hours; reset yourself.” 

Jared considered that, and agreed when he had to stifle another yawn. “Yeah, that actually sounds like a good idea.”

“Good.” Jensen smiled. “Good. Okay, then. I’ll see you at the barbeque?”

“Yeah.”

“Get some rest.” Jensen paused at the door. “And Jared? I think you're going to do just fine here.” He left, closing the door softly.

Jared lay back and stared at the ceiling. As his eyes slipped closed, he wondered what it was going to be like with Jensen back in his life.

Jared’s first session with Jeff Morgan was not as bad as he thought it would be. He and Jeff sat out on the back porch and talked about Jared’s work, football, music, everything but why Jared was at the Center. Before he knew it, the hour was almost up.

“I thought we were going to have a counseling session?” Jared asked as Jeff told him they were done for the day. 

“We did.” Jeff smiled at him and closed his folder.

“But you didn’t ask me anything serious.”

“Didn’t need to.” Jeff stood and motioned for Jared to follow him into the house. Jeff stopped in the kitchen and took two bottles of water out of the fridge.

“Okay….” Jared accepted the one Jeff held out to him. “Now I’m really confused.”

Jeff grinned and leaned against the counter. “When I get a new client, I like to spend the first session just getting to know them. It lets me know how they communicate and what tools I might need to help them get to their goals.”

“So how did I rate?” Jared took a swig of his water.

Laughing, Jeff nudged Jared’s shoulder. “Smart, eloquent but reserved. You don’t give your trust easily. You’ll talk about anything, but it’s going to be tough to get you to really open up.” Jeff tipped his bottle of water towards Jared. “But at the same time, you want to be able to share without the fear that someone will take advantage or expose you.”

“Wow. You got all that from our talk?” Jared shook his head in disbelief. 

“I’m good at what I do, Jared,” Jeff said simply. “We’ll get into the nitty-gritty in further sessions, trust me. But for now, I have to ask you a serious question.”

“What’s that?” 

Jeff winked at him. “How good are you at grilling?”

The BBQ was an experience. Everyone at Pegasus Rising evidently took it very seriously. Chris, Steve, and Jeff set out chairs and tables while Felicia and the other staff brought out food and drinks and hooked up the sound system. Jared tried to help, but they wouldn’t let him.

“You’re a guest,” Rich said, using the term they had for patients. “You’re just here to eat and socialize.”

Soon, the smell of beef, pork and chicken wafted through the air accompanied by the strains of George Jones and the Eagles. The guests and staff helped themselves to potato and pasta salads, roasted corn on the cob, cole slaw, three kinds of beans, and miles of desserts.

Jared sat down at one of the tables, a plate piled high with ribs and sides and a cold glass of sweet tea in front of him. Matt and Chris sat down across from him, their own plates filled with food.

“So, Jared,” Matt began, a grin on his face. “Before you officially join guest status in, oh…” he looked at his watch. “…about twenty minutes, care to share any insider Hollywood stories?”

Chris smacked Matt on the back of the head, getting an ‘Ow!’ from the other man. “Lord, son, where are your manners. You know Jared can’t tell you stuff like that! Right?” He turned to Jared and crooked his eyebrow. “I mean, you can’t _really_ tell us the dirt on say…Paris Hilton…right?”

Jared laughed. Chris looked so eager that he couldn’t resist. Leaning in, he whispered, “What do you want to know?”

Chris’s eyes widened. “Everything.” 

Laughing again, Jared thought for a moment. “Okay, let me see what I remember….” He shared just enough to make Chris happy, switching to general stories about meeting Scarlett Johansson, Chris Evans, and several other big name Hollywood actors, and told them about funny pranks that he’d pulled on set.

He was about to launch into a story where he dumped several hundred dollars of change into a coworker’s car when Jeff stood and motioned for someone to lower the music.

“Okay, folks, did everyone get enough to eat?” There were murmurs of assent. “Great. If ya’ll could gather round the fire pit, let’s get started.”

Jared tossed his plate into the trash as he made his way to the circle of logs surrounding the pit. He grabbed some Wet-Naps and wiped his hands clean. He took a seat next to an older man and quietly introduced himself. “Hi, I’m Jared.”

“Bruce.” Bruce held his hand out for Jared to shake. “Big fan of your movies.”

“Thanks.” Jared blushed, wondering if Bruce would stay a fan once he heard why Jared was there. He turned back to listen to what Jeff had to say.

“Now here’s where we get to meet the new folks and hear about the progress of the week.” Jeff grinned and rubbed his hands together. “Or as the Sams like to call it, the “Kumbayah” portion of the program.” The staff and a few of the guests laughed as Jeff ducked the flying bit of roll that one of the Sams threw at him. “Seriously, though. We want to introduce the new folks so you’ll have names for the faces, plus we want to hear where you are in your treatment.”

“Oh great,” Jared muttered.

Bruce leaned over to him. “It’s voluntary. You don’t have to share if you don’t want to. Tonight, the most they’ll ask you to do is introduce yourself.”

“Let’s start with the new folks.” Jeff pointed at a young man sitting next to Felicia. “Why don’t you go ahead, Jake? Just tell us what you want us to know.”

“Ummm…I’m Jake,” the young man’s voice was soft. “I’m here because my best friend was killed in a drunk driving accident. We were out partying and ran headlong into the guardrail. I made it…Tyler didn’t.” Jake’s breath hitched and Jared saw Felicia put a hand on his shoulder. “My parents and, and me…we thought the Center would be a good place for me to get help. Um, that’s it.”

The group clapped quietly and several of the younger members gave Jake the thumbs up.

A few other people introduced themselves before it was Jared’s turn. They all had different reasons for being there – depression, physical therapy, drug dependency – but they all had one thing in common. The look of hope that the Center would help them.

When it was Jared’s turn, he took a deep breath. He wasn’t sure how to begin. Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement. 

Jensen had been standing in the shadows, but now he walked into the glow of the fire pit. Arms crossed, he looked at Jared with a small smile and nodded.

“Hi there, I’m Jared.” The words were halting because they were his, not just ones written for him to say. “If you go to the movies, then most of you know who I am. I’m here because I’ve made some less than stellar choices in my life, and I want to stop before I completely fall down the rabbit hole.”

Jared looked around the ring, expecting to see doubt or disapproval at his words, but all he saw was were smiles and encouragement. It gave him a warm feeling – maybe this _would_ really work.

He sneaked a look at Jensen, who gave him a small thumbs up. That expanded the warmth inside his chest and gave him hope that he and Jensen would get a chance to work through their issues as well.

Jeff went around the fire again and those who had already been at the Center shared their progress. Some stories were positive, others were still struggling, but they all sounded confident that they would walk out of their treatment successfully.

They had just about finished with the stories when there was a slight commotion. One of the guests – a little girl about six, dressed neatly in a pink jumper, her hair in pigtails, squirmed away from her mother and came to stand in front of Jared. 

“April!” Her mother called, following her.

“Lucas,” April said in a monotone. “Lucas.” She crawled up into Jared’s lap and nestled under his chin, her thumb in her mouth.

Confused, Jared looked up at April’s mother. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Padalecki, let me take her.” April’s mother tried to pick up her daughter but the little girl whined and clung to Jared like a limpet.

“Lucas,” she said, slurring the word around the thumb in her mouth.

“It’s Jared, and it’s okay.” Jared wrapped his arms around April to make sure she wouldn’t fall. He looked down at her as he felt her other hand touch his cheek, stroking it repeatedly.

“Lucas,” she sighed and closed her eyes.

“April’s autistic,” her mother told him, after introducing herself as Mary. “She’s here for the equine therapy, which has really been helping.”

“That’s great.” Jared could feel that April was starting to fall asleep, her hand moving more slowly on his face. “But why is she calling me ‘Lucas’?”

“Because you’re her favorite actor,” Mary said with a smile. “Lucas Woodward.” 

Jared was flabbergasted. His breakout role had been Lucas Woodward, bus boy at the Dragonfly Inn. It had been so long ago, though, that he didn’t think people remembered. 

“I had ‘The Dragonfly Inn’ playing on Netflix a while back,” she continued. “And when you came on, April walked up to the television and kept touching it.” Mary stretched out and stroked April’s hair. “When your scenes were done, she pitched a fit. We had to buy every episode you were in and dub them to a DVD so she could watch. It helps soothe her.”

April’s thumb slipped out of her mouth and she was limp against Jared’s chest. She smelled sweet – kids shampoo and chocolate. She reminded Jared of his little sister Megan at that age.

“I can take her if you want now that she’s sleeping.”

“No, she’s fine.” Jared smiled up at Mary. “But I’d like to hear her progress. I think it’s your turn.”

Mary shared that April’s therapy had encouraged her to be more communicative and more responsive in social settings. “She wouldn’t have done this six months ago,” she said, pointing to Jared. “We are thrilled. So, yeah. Things are good.”

Jared smiled down at the sleeping child. She looked so innocent curled up against him. 

_April,_ he thought. _If you can do this, so can I._

Jared’s days fell into a routine. He got up early and met Chris in the barn. Together they groomed Apollo until Chris felt that Jared could handle the horse on his own. Then they took him out into the corral and Jared put Apollo through his paces. 

Some days Apollo was cooperative and exercising him was a breeze. Other days? It was all Jared could do to keep the horse under control.

“C’mon, Jared! Make him listen to you!” Chris’s voice rang through the corral. “You’re letting him be in charge.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Jared shouted back in frustration as Apollo stood stock still in the middle of the corral. “He’s too damn stubborn!”

“Then what are you going to do about it, boy?” Chris hoisted himself up onto the fence.

“I’m gonna deck _you_ if you call me boy again!” Jared threatened, but Chris just laughed.

“You gotta get Apollo to come over this way first before you have any chance of decking me.”

“Hear that, Apollo?” Jared leaned over and spoke near the horse’s ear. “Chris said I could deck him if we walk over there. What’dya say?” Apollo’s ears swiveled and he bumped his head up and down while snorting. “That sounds like a ‘yes’ to me.”

Jared clicked his tongue and squeezed his thighs. Apollo stepped forward slowly, then a bit faster, until they were crowding Chris against the fence.

“Gotcha,” Jared crowed. “Now lean forward so I can have a good shot.”

“Oh hell no!” Laughing, Chris scrambled off the other side of the fence. “Okay, I think that’s enough for now. It’s April’s turn. Meet you in the barn.”

Jared looked over at the corral gate. There was April sitting on Snowflake, a Shetland pony. Felicia and Matt were on either side of her. She grinned at Jared. “Lucas!”

“Hey, April.” Jared slid off Apollo’s back and flipped the reins over the horse’s head. He stopped at April’s side. “You taking a ride?”

“Snowflake,” she said, patting the pony’s side and giggling. “Riding.”

“Good for you!” Jared leaned over and gave her a hug, which had her giggling even more. “I’ve got to go get this guy cleaned up. You have fun.”

“Bye, Lucas.” She waved as the two therapists guided her into the corral.

Jared led Apollo to the barn. Chris was filling up the water trough outside and had his back to them. Jared walked quietly up behind him and stepped to the side. Apollo sidled up behind Chris and knocked his cowboy hat off his head with his nose.

Chris bent over to pick it up and Apollo pushed him, making him lose his balance and fall into the trough. He came up spitting and swearing. “Goddamnit, Jared!” 

Jared practically fell to the ground laughing. He’d taught Apollo that trick the first week they were there and it never got old. 

“I swear, Padalecki, I’m gonna kick your butt!” Chris struggled to get out of the trough. 

“Plenty of time to do that after you change, Kane. Go dry off.” Jensen’s voice was dry and amused. “And Jared? Please don’t antagonize Chris any more, okay? He’s here to help.”

“I know, I know.” Jared huffed out the last of his laughter. “But I can’t help it. Besides, Apollo thinks it funny, too. Don’t you, boy?” He rubbed Apollo’s neck as the horse nickered in what Jared took to be agreement. “See?”

“Apollo thinks you’re going to feed him. Of course he’s gonna agree.” Jensen took the reins and tied them to the hook next to Apollo’s stall. With deft movements he unbuckled the saddle and lifted it off Apollo’s back. “C’mon, I’ll help you rub him down so we can grab some food.”

Getting Apollo clean and stabled went quickly with Jensen’s help. They headed to the main building of the Center where the cafeteria was located. Several of the guests had already gotten their food and were spread out around the room.

“You gonna come and eat with us?” Jared nudged Jensen as they walked into the room.

“Actually, I can’t. Got paperwork I need to catch up on.” Jared wasn’t sure, but it sounded like Jensen had a bit of regret in his voice. “Boss’s work is never done.”

“I can imagine.” Jared picked up a tray and got in line for the entrée. “Guess I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah. I’ll be around.” 

Jared watched as Jensen walked around the room, stopping to say hello to everyone before he grabbed an apple from one of the tables. Jensen grinned at Jared, took a bite, and sauntered out of the room.

Jared couldn’t help but stare at him as he left. It was like that saying, - ‘hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave.’ The sight of Jensen’s ass encased in faded denim was like a magnet that Jared couldn’t keep his eyes off of.

“Enjoying the view?” Felicia sidled up to Jared with a grin. “If you’re not careful, your eyes will fall out.”

Jared felt himself blushing. “Don’t you have a horse to groom?”

“Nope, Matt’s wrapping up with April so I got to go to lunch early.” She picked up a tray. “And you’re blocking the line.”

Jared quickly moved so Felicia could get a plate. He grabbed his own plate – chicken and veggies – and moved down towards the drinks and desserts, adding a bottle of water and two pieces of pie to his tray.

“Let’s sit by the window.” Felicia nodded her head at an empty table.

“I thought you weren’t allowed to fraternize with the guests.” Jared headed that way. “Isn’t that policy?”

“As long as we don’t talk about anything confidential, we can sit at the same table.”

“Sounds good.” Jared sat and took everything off his tray, putting it with Felicia’s when she cleared hers.

“So, how long have you known Jensen?” Felicia cut a piece of her chicken and popped it into her mouth.

Jared almost choked on his water. “Wow, subtle much?”

“Nope, not when it’s good gossip. And _you_ ,” she pointed her fork at him. “Are good gossip. Especially since it involves Jensen.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jared tasted his vegetables, made a face, and added some salt and pepper.

“Our dear JR is an enigma. _Very_ secretive…” She grinned at Jared. “And since you obviously know him, you can dish the dirt.”

“What makes you think I know him that well?” Jared tensed, wondering just what had been said.

“It’s written all over your face.”

Jared must have looked shocked because Felicia almost fell out of her chair with laughter. “Kidding!!! Actually Chris told us when he started bitching at Jensen about ‘not using his Hollywood contacts to get him a date with Paris Hilton’.” She air quoted the words. 

Jared relaxed. “She’d eat him for breakfast.”

“Yeah, but he probably would enjoy that. Laid out on the table…” 

“Ew, stop! That’s just so….wrong.” Jared shuddered. “I will never get that out of my head now.”

“So seriously, how well do you know Jensen?” Felicia cocked her head. “He’s never mentioned you.”

“We grew up together.” Jared thought that was safe to tell her. “He and my brother Jeff ran around together when they were in college.” 

He thought back on all the times Jeff and Jensen took over the house; playing Call of Duty and ragging on each other, fighting for the basketball while they played one-on-one in the driveway, chowing down on his mom’s chili and cornbread.

He remembered following them around, blushing every time Jensen smiled at him. Trying so hard not to be jealous when Jensen would tell Jeff about his newest boyfriend. Wishing it was him.

He smiled, thinking about that wish coming true when Jensen found him curled up in their basement rec room, tears running down his face because he’d been stood up by yet another guy.

Jensen had wiped his face, told him he was better than all of them, kissed him and asked him if he minded dating an older man. 

“Now that’s an interesting smile,” Felicia said softly, breaking into his reverie. “One with a story behind it.” 

“Yeah.”

“One I’m not going to hear I take it.” Her tone was wistful.

“Probably not. Sorry.” 

“Bummer.” Felicia patted his hand. “It’s okay. I’ll find a way to weasel some other story out of you.”

“Nope. My lips are sealed.” Jared mimed locking his lips.

“Aww…not even a little one?” Felicia wheedled.

“Nope.” Finished with his lunch, Jared collected their plates and stood to take them to the return window.

“You know I’m gonna find a way to get you to tell me one.” Felicia wagged a finger at him. 

“Challenge accepted.” Jared checked his watch. “I’ve got to go or I’ll be late for my session with Jeff.”

“Scaredy-cat! You just don’t want to face my powers of persuasion!” 

Laughing, Jared waved a hand at her as he left the cafeteria.

[ Part Three](http://theatregirl7299.livejournal.com/67193.html)


	3. Chapter 3

“So. Let’s talk about your relationships.” Jeff and Jared were sitting at the fire pit when Jeff brought the topic up. At first Jared had thought it was weird that they rarely held a counseling session in Jeff’s office, but his explanation that nature helped his clients open up had made a lot of sense. 

It seemed to work well for Jared. Watching the horses lazily cropping grass, the smell of oncoming rain, seeing the barn cat’s brand new kittens – they all helped Jared focus on the tools he needed to work through his issues.

Until Jeff asked the question.

“What do you want to know?” Jared hedged a bit, feeling himself start to sweat.

“I assume you’re not seeing anyone, correct?” Jared nodded, and Jeff jotted down a note on his legal pad. “So tell me about your most serious relationship and why it didn’t work.”

Jared froze. There was no way he was going to tell Jeff about Jensen. “Umm…”

“Take your time. And remember, this is all confidential.” Jeff gave him a telling look over his half-rims. “Nothing you tell me will be shared with anyone, even if they are an employee here at the Center.” 

_Did everyone know he’d had a relationship with Jensen?_ Jared wondered. _What had Jensen told them?_

It was like Jeff had read his mind.

“Jensen didn’t say anything more than the two of you knew each other. I’ve just been observing your behavior around each other and drawing my own conclusions.” 

Jared studied him. “What conclusions?”

“That you and Jensen were more than friends at some point in your lives, and that it didn’t end positively.” Jeff stretched out a bit on the bench he was sitting on.

“How can you tell that?” Jared protested. “We’ve barely spent any time around each other.”

“And that’s telling. You both actively don't look at each other either. When two people make it a point not to make eye contact with each other, it usually means there’s a reason behind it. It can either be attraction or anger.” Jeff set his legal pad down on the bench. “With you two, the sneaking glances when you think the other one isn’t looking and the hyperawareness of where the other is at all times is a pretty good sign it’s not anger.”

“Yeah.” Jared deflated a bit at Jeff’s analysis. “Is it that obvious?”

“To me, yes. To everyone else, probably not.”

“Except Felicia.” Jared shook his head. “She caught me staring at Jensen’s ass at lunch today.”

Jeff burst into laughter. “Well yeah, that _would_ make it obvious.”

Jared was quiet for a moment. “Jensen was my brother’s best friend. Still is, I guess. According to Jeff, they go out for beers and hot wings about once a month to catch up on each other’s lives.” 

“So when did you know you had feelings for him?” Jeff leaned back and crossed one leg over the other.

“When I figured out I was gay.” Jared remembered when he realized that what he felt for Jensen wasn’t just friendship. Fifteen and discovering that abs did it for him instead of breasts, broad shoulders instead of slim waists. And there was Jensen – all sun-lit and gorgeous and _always_ at their house. Jared went through a bottle of Jergen’s in a week fantasizing about Jensen. “He was my first crush.”

“And?” Jeff raised an eyebrow, as if he was waiting for more.

“Okay, fine. Jensen was my first everything. First real kiss, first boyfriend, first time.” Jared paused. “First heartbreak.”

“So obviously in the beginning it was good. What changed?”

Jared didn’t want to go there – didn’t want to dredge up the memories of their arguments. Of the hurt on Jensen’s face when Jared walked away from him. 

“It just didn’t work out.”

Jeff just raised his eyebrow again. Jared knew Jeff would sit there waiting until Jared told him the rest. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I was studying political science at UCLA when a casting agent spotted me and told me I was perfect for a new series he was casting. I went in and read for it, and they cast me as Lucas.” Jared took a deep breath. “I dropped out of college to do the show. My parents and Jensen weren’t happy. We’d planned on me coming back to Austin after graduation. I’d gotten some good offers to work at some government think tanks, but that got derailed by the series.”

Jared paused—now came the hard part. “As the popularity of the series grew, I got offers for movies that I just couldn’t pass up. I kept promising Jensen that each one would be the last one; that I would go back to school and finish up my degree.” Jared ran his hand through his hair again. “But then another role would be offered, and I’d take it and make more excuses. Finally it got too much. Jensen and I’d been fighting and he gave me an ultimatum – him or Hollywood.”

“And we know which one you chose.” Jeff’s voice was firm but without censure. “What happened next?”

“I walked away because I figured Jensen would cool down and we’d simply make up and move on. He’d always been there – except this time, he wasn’t.”

“What did you do when he didn’t follow you this time?” Jeff picked up his legal pad and made another note.

“I tried to apologize, but it was too late. He told me I’d made my choice and he wasn’t going to be second best.” Jared’s stomach lurched as he remembered that discussion. Him in tears, Jensen stoic and cold. “That was the last time I talked to him until I got here.”

“And you’ve never been in a long term relationship since? No one you’ve considered spending the rest of your life with?”

“No, not really.” Jared shook his head.

“And when did the drugs and alcohol consumption start to increase?”

Jared knew exactly when it had started, and by that leading question he was pretty sure Jeff did too. “You’re going to make me say it out loud aren’t you?”

Jeff grinned slightly. “You bet.”

“When Jensen and I broke up.”

“And why do you think that is?” There was no exultation in Jeff’s tone, just curiosity.

 _Trying to fill the Jensen-sized hole in my heart_ was the answer, but Jared wasn’t ready to say that out loud. He stood and paced, feeling Jeff’s eyes on him.

“Jared, you don’t have to tell me, but you need to be honest with yourself. Once you’re able to have that internal conversation, then you can work towards repairing the cracks that are causing you to be dependent on the drugs and alcohol.” Jeff stood and walked over to Jared, clapping him on the shoulder. “I think we’re done for today. Think about what we’ve talked about, and when you’re ready to take the next step, I’ll be here.”

He walked off, leaving Jared standing by the fire pit, his thoughts whirling. Jeff was right. He needed to be honest with himself. The drugs and alcohol were simply a means for him to forget the colossal mistake he made when he walked away from Jensen.

Jared made his way to the barn. Apollo was in his stall and neighed softly as he approached. Jared grabbed an apple from a side bin and pulled out a pocketknife to cut it into slices. “Here you go, boy.”

Apollo munched contentedly on the pieces as Jared stroked his neck. “So you got any advice for me?” The horse nudged him and nibbled at his chest. “Didn’t think so.” 

Jared gave him another piece of apple. “So if I follow Jeff’s logic, when Jensen and I broke up, I started abusing the booze and drugs. Theoretically, if I get back with Jensen, then I won’t need the stuff.” Jared scoffed. “Yeah I can just see Jensen’s face when I tell him that.” 

Jared sighed and buried his face in Apollo’s thick mane. “I have no idea what to do next, Apollo.” He stood there for a while, just breathing in the natural smell of horse and hay and letting his mind wander.

He relaxed, letting the ideas swirl around in his head until they coalesced into a plan. He was going to have to take the risk and talk to Jensen. Apologize and hope for the best.

With his plan in mind, he headed back to the house to get ready for dinner.

It was fire pit night, and the meal was spaghetti with Bolognese sauce, homemade garlic bread, salad, and peach cobbler. The smell of the garlic bread made Jared’s mouth water as he headed out to the gathering of chairs and tables. 

Chris had set up the sound system to play some of his and Steve’s music and the sound of southern rock set a laid-back tone to the evening. 

Jared was hoping to put his plan in place to apologize to Jensen after dinner, but he was out of luck. Jensen was nowhere to be found.

He sat down across from Chris. “Looks like you dried off pretty well.”

“I hate you. Just want you to know that,” Chris replied through a mouthful of garlic bread.

Jared laughed. “No, you don’t. I’m your only link to Paris Hilton.”

“Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen.” Steve teased. “Chris’s head would explode.”

Jared made a mental note to call Paris when he was done at the Center. He’d tell Jensen in advance so he could record Chris losing his mind. Speaking of Jensen…

“So, where’s Jensen tonight?” Jared tried for nonchalant but wasn’t sure he successfully pulled it off by the look on Chris’s face.

“He had to go out.” Chris smirked. “Hot date.”

“Oh.” Jared’s guts churned. It hadn’t even occurred to him that Jensen might be dating someone. Suddenly the food didn’t taste so good. 

“Yeah. His date’s a gorgeous redhead with long legs and flowing hair.” Chris took a bite of his spaghetti. “He’s been chasing after her for months and tonight he said he’s gonna put her through her paces.”

Jared was done. He stood up to clear his plate and wondered how he could get out of the sharing circle. He was not in the mood to be warm and fuzzy.

“God damn it, Kane, sometimes you are a real asshole.” Jeff came over to the table and smacked Chris on the back of the head. He turned to Jared and put a hand on his shoulder. “Jensen had to head over to the next county - he's taking a look at a mare that he wants to add to the therapy lineup. He’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Well, it’s sort of like a date.” Chris defended himself. “Closest thing Ackles has had to one since I’ve known him.”

“Again…asshole!” Jeff turned back to Jared. “Ignore him. It’s time to head to the fire pit.”

“Can I pass, Jeff? Kind of not feeling it tonight.” Jared used his patented puppy dog eyes that usually got him out of things he didn’t want to do.

“Nope. Part of the program. Attendance is mandatory. Talking is not. C’mon.” Jeff gently pushed Jared towards the fire pit, then turned and glared at Chris when he got up. “ _You’re_ not going.”

“Why not?” Chris was indignant. “Steve and I have a new song we want to try out.”

“Too bad. You were mean to Jared, which means kitchen duty tonight.”

“I wasn’t mean!” 

Jeff waved his hand. “Get crackin, Kane. Those dishes won’t wash themselves.”

“Sonofabitch,” Jared heard Chris mutter as he headed for the kitchen.

“You really didn’t have to do that,” Jared said to Jeff as they walked over to an empty bench. 

“I love Chris like a brother, but sometimes he’s better with horses than he is with people.” They sat down. “I saw your face and figured he was running his mouth. I felt I needed to clear up that little misunderstanding.”

“Thanks for that.” Jared shifted on the bench, feeling a bit uncomfortable under Jeff’s watchful eye.

Suddenly Jeff smiled. “You figured it out, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I think I did.” Jared ducked his head, feeling like a kid who’d been praised by the teacher. 

“That’s great. Feel like you want to share?”

Jared thought about it. “Actually, no, if that’s okay. I kind of want to do this on my own.”

“Good.” Jeff leaned back against the bench. “Let me know if you want to run anything past me.”

“I will.”

“And now it’s time for Kumbayah!” Jeff stood up and clapped his hands.

Jared sat back and let the voices wash over him. When it was his turn, he stood and introduced himself. “I kind of had an epiphany today. I don’t really want to share the details because I’m still processing it, but it’s a pretty big step towards helping me with the reason why I’m here.”

He smiled at the positive comments and clapping. Things were looking up. He knew that making amends with Jensen was the first step to getting him back and fixing their lives.

Now if he could only convince Jensen of that.

he house was quiet as Jared got ready for bed. He was the only one in the building which made all the unfamiliar creaks and groans a bit unsettling. 

He lay down and pulled the covers over himself, but was nowhere near ready to sleep. All his pent up emotions and the need to talk to Jensen were keeping him awake. Usually when that happened, he watched some Netflix on his computer, but since computers and cell phones weren’t allowed, he was at a loss.

Tossing the covers aside, Jared padded downstairs to see what was on television. Technically he wasn’t allowed to watch after hours, but since Jensen wasn’t there he figured no one would know. Stretching out onto the couch, he grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels. Settling on a NCIS marathon, he tossed the remote back onto the coffee table and tucked his hands behind his head.

The adventures of Gibbs and crew only grabbed his attention halfway. His mind was still on Jensen. He tried to figure out what to say that would make Jensen believe he was sincere, but nothing seemed to fit. 

The more Jared thought, the more confused he got, so he turned off his brain and focused on the show. Soon his eyes got heavy and he drifted off to thoughts of Jensen.

Jared was startled awake by a thud and a curse. Looking up over the back of the couch, he saw Jensen sprawled out on the floor in front of the door.

“Are you okay?” Jared hurried over to help him up.

“Yeah, yeah.” Jensen sounded disgusted with himself. “Tripped over my own damn feet.”

Jared chuckled. “Some things never change.”

Jensen looked up at him. “If I recall correctly, you were the one who was the klutzy one.” He took Jared’s hand and hauled himself up.

“Hey now,” Jared protested. “That’s because I was a growing boy!”

“Yeah, you were.” Jared swore he heard a soft tone in Jensen’s voice but Jensen continued. “What are you doing up so late?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“You know TV’s off limits after hours,” Jensen chided.

Jared grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, I know. But I figured since you were gone I wouldn’t get busted.”

“How’d that work out for you?” Jensen chuckled as he hung his coat up on the hooks next to the door and headed towards the kitchen.

“Not so good.” Jared followed him, accepting a bottle of water that Jensen pulled out of the fridge. “By the way, why _are_ you home? I thought you were staying overnight at the other ranch?”

Jensen unscrewed the cap and took a drink. “Had planned on it, but the deal fell through.”

“That sucks. What happened?” Jared leaned against the counter. “Horse not up to snuff?”

“Oh no. She was fine. Perfect, actually. Her owner…not so much.” Jensen finished his water and tossed the bottle into the recycle bin. “We’d shaken on an amount, but when I got there, he claimed we hadn’t set a cost and wanted more money. Found out from my buddy who works there that he got a higher offer and wanted me to up my bid.”

“Wow. Not cool. So what’d you do?”

“Told him that I don’t deal with liars and greedy sons-of-bitches and left.” Jensen motioned for Jared’s empty bottle and tossed it in the recycle bin after his. “Shame, though. I really liked the horse.” He shrugged. “But win some, lose some.” 

Jensen looked at Jared. “So, tell me why you’re downstairs on the couch at 3 AM.”

“Too much on my mind, I guess.”

“Care to share?” 

Jared realized this was his chance to make things right with Jensen. Praying that he would find the right words, he took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, Jen.” And waited as Jensen considered his words.

Jensen had the decency not to pretend he didn’t know what Jared was apologizing for. “I know you are. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.   
When you walked away…it almost killed me, Jay.”

Jared could see the pain written on his face. Jensen continued. “Did your brother ever tell you what happened after you left?”

“No. Jeff just yelled at me and told me I was an idiot.” Jared winced at the memory of his brother reading him the riot act. It had taken them several months to get back to their normal banter. 

“When Jeff found me in my apartment, I’d drunk practically every bottle of liquor I had. He took me to the hospital where they treated me for alcohol poisoning and put me on a 72-hour suicide watch.”

Jared stared at Jensen. He’d had no idea.

“I almost failed out of school, but my counselor pulled some strings and I was able to finish. The internship here was as much for my mental state as it was for my college credit.”

“God, Jensen. I’m so sorry! I -.” Jared stopped. What could he say that would make anything better? Jensen had almost died because of him. There was no way that anything Jared could come up with would change that.

“I’m sorry.” He said again. “I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn’t. Because I asked Jeff not to tell you.” 

That simple statement took the breath out of Jared’s lungs.

“Why?” _Why would Jensen not want him to know?_

“Because I didn’t want you to ruin your chance at becoming a star in Hollywood by rushing home to me.”

“Jensen…” Jared began, but Jensen cut him off with a shake of his head.

“Just listen, okay?” Jared nodded and Jensen continued. “One of the factors of me finishing school was mandatory counseling. It made me see that I’d been selfish and didn’t take your thoughts and feelings into consideration.”

“But I was wrong in breaking my promises to you.” Jared broke in.

“True, but I was at fault too. I was hell bent on our ‘plan’,” Jensen air-quoted, “and I didn’t see _you_. That you’d changed – blossomed actually. That you’d found your calling. I was jealous. I was afraid if you stayed out in California, you’d leave me for some hot Hollywood type. So I forced the issue.” Jensen paused. “I’m the one who's sorry, Jared, for everything.”

Jared was floored. He’d had no idea that Jensen had felt that way. “God, I was so stupid!”

“We both were.” Jensen’s voice was soft with regret. 

“I haven’t been in a serious relationship since you.” Jared wanted him to know that. “No one ever felt right.”

“I know.”

“Wait, how?” Curious, Jared looked at Jensen. “How would you know?”

“I…might have lied when I said I didn’t read the celebrity magazines…”

Jared started laughing. “So _you’re_ the one responsible for the US Weekly magazines in the common room.”

Jensen raised his hand slightly. “Guilty. I just didn’t feel right asking Jeff about you after I told him not to tell you what happened to me. But you know how your brother is – he’d share stuff anyway. I think he’s always hoped we would get back together.”

“Yeah, that’s Jeff. Mom used to call him her little Yenta.” Jared waited a beat. “So…do you?”

“Do I what?” Jensen looked puzzled.

“Want to get back together?” 

“We can’t.”

“Oh.” Jared tried not to show he was crushed. “That’s okay. I understand.”

He turned to go, but Jensen grabbed his arm. “I didn’t say I didn’t want to. I said we can’t. You’re a patient here, Jared, and even though I’m not directly involved with your care, I’m still in charge and that would be a breach of patient ethics.”

“So…you want to?”

“God, more than anything in the world.” Jensen pulled Jared into a fierce hug. “I have missed you like a limb. You have two weeks until you’re discharged. Think you can wait for me that much longer?”

“I know I can.” Jared squeezed Jensen until he swore he could hear his ribs creak. He snuck a kiss onto Jensen’s temple and felt him smile. “I know, I know, doctor patient stuff. I won’t do it again.” He let Jensen go.

“Two weeks.”

“We can do it.”

Two weeks – 14 days. Piece of cake.

The last two weeks of Jared’s time at the Center were the longest days of his life. 

He kept to his regular schedule – working with Chris and Apollo in the mornings, and his sessions with Jeff in the afternoons – but it seemed as though Jensen was _everywhere_ now.

Jared was helping Chris train Apollo to respond to voice commands when Jensen came over and leaned against the railing. That, of course, ended the session, because as soon as Apollo saw Jensen, he headed over to him and rested his head on Jensen’s shoulder.

“Damn it, JR, how the hell are we supposed to get him trained if you keep showing up,” Chris grumbled. “You know he’s useless when you’re around.”

Jared mentally commiserated with Apollo. The sight of Jensen in jeans and a tight army green t-shirt made his brain go totally off-line. 

“Sorry, Chris. Just wanted to borrow Jared for a minute.” 

“Yeah. We’re done for the day anyway. You guys can take Apollo in and get him cooled down.”

“Great.” Jensen pushed off the fence and headed to the gate to open it. 

Jared rode out and then dismounted. Making sure the reins were looped around Apollo’s neck, he made a clucking sound and walked toward the barn, Apollo following docilely behind him. 

“Wow. That’s impressive. He’s only done that for me before.”

“Yeah, well Apollo and I have an understanding. Don’t we, boy,” Jared crooned to the horse. Apollo nickered and bumped his head against Jared’s back.

Jensen laughed. “And what’s that?”

“To dump Chris into the water trough.” Jared grinned. “It never gets old.”

“You’re lucky Chris likes you or you’d have been flat on your ass the first time it happened.” Jensen picked up a brush and began currying Apollo.

“I’m not worried. I’ve got Paris Hilton on speed dial. I’m safe.” Jared unbuckled the saddle, pulling it and the blanket off and putting them on the rack. He grabbed a pick and tapped Apollo’s leg so he would lift it up. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

“I ran into Jeff this morning and he said you had something to ask me?”

“Yeah.” Jared had been waiting for a moment alone with Jensen. “I want you to come to the rest of my counseling sessions.”

Jensen stilled, the brush paused against Apollo’s neck. “May I ask why?”

“If we’re going to do this, I want to do it right. I’ve talked to Jeff and he agrees that we’ve probably got some unfinished baggage still between us and we need to get it settled.” Jared lowered Apollo’s foot and put the pick away. “I want us to have a clean start and I trust Jeff.”

“Okay.” Jensen smiled and it was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. “Do we start today?”

“If you want to.” 

“I do.” 

“Okay, then.” 

They finished caring for Apollo, occasionally sharing words, but mostly working in a comfortable silence. It felt good.

The first session with Jeff however, was not so good. The questions he asked dredged up long repressed emotions in both Jared and Jensen, and they wound up shouting at each other in anger.

Jeff calmed them both down and explained that they had needed that catharsis in order to move forward. Then he gave them homework.

Later that night they settled in the living room.

“Okay, so we are supposed to share three good things that we missed about the other person while we weren’t together.” Jared picked up his cup of coffee and took a sip. “I’ll go first. I missed the way you laughed, how grumpy you are in the mornings, and your bowlegs.”

“My what?” Jensen stared at him.

“Your bowlegs. Because they always made your ass look good.” Jared grinned a cheesy grin.

Jensen laughed so hard that he fell over on the couch. “Oh my god. Stop.”

“What. They do! And I missed that.”

“I refuse to discuss my ass. My turn.” Jensen sat back up. “I missed your dimples, the way your hair fell in front of your face when you were embarrassed, and how smart you are.” He took Jared’s hand and squeezed it. “I’m glad you didn’t go into government. You would have been miserable.”

“Even though it caused us to lose 10 years?”

“Yeah. I kind of like us better where we are now.”

“So would it be against doctor-patient ethics if we cuddled?”

“Well…I think I remember Jeff saying something about reestablishing communications and cuddling definitely falls under that.” Jensen scooted closer and pulled Jared under his arm. “Yeah. Communications.”

Jared smiled and got comfortable. “Love you, Jensen,” he said, closing his eyes.

He felt Jensen place a kiss on his temple. “Love you too, Jared.”

They spent the rest of the evening in silence and it was good.


	4. Chapter 4

Jared's last day at Pegasus came. Jared wasn’t sure if he was happy or sad about leaving. So much had happened in the three months he was here.

His bags were packed and on the front porch, waiting on Chad who was late, as always. He and Jensen were finishing up lunch when Chris came in.

“Hey there. So you’re leaving today.” Chris grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down next to him. “How’s it feel?”

“Weird.” Jared took his plate to the sink and leaned against the counter. “Excited, sad…I don’t know. I don’t really know how to feel.”

“That’s normal,” Jensen said. “This place has been instrumental in getting you back on your feet. Most of our clients tell us they have mixed feelings about leaving.”

“Good to hear.” Jared poured himself a cup of coffee and sat back down. Pulling out the phone that Jensen had just returned, he made a quick call. “Hey, it’s me. Putting you on speaker.”

Jared clicked the speaker button and laid the phone on the table. “Hey, hon. Want you to meet a few friends of mine – Jensen and Chris. Guys, say hello to Paris Hilton.”

Chris’s eyes got huge and he started shaking his head. Jensen was trying not to laugh, but it wasn’t working very well.

 _“Hi, guys.”_ Paris’s voice was tinny. _“Nice to meet you.”_

“Hi, Paris, this is Jensen. Chris is trying not to hyperventilate.”

They could hear Paris giggle through the phone. 

“So, you still going to that charity auction at the Thinkery next month?” Jared winked at Jensen.

 _“I sure am,”_ she replied.

“Well, Chris is a big fan of yours, and since I had to bail on escorting you, I thought he could go as your plus one. You’ll love him. He’s a riot.”

_“Oh my god, that would be perfect! Thank you so much!”_

Chris choked on his coffee. 

“Great. I need to step away from the phone but Chris will be happy to get the details, won’t you, Chris?”

“Uh…sure. Hi, Paris….I’m, uh, Chris.” Jared laughed as Chris glared at him. “So, when’s the event?”

“C’mon.” Jared motioned for Jensen to come outside with him. They stepped out onto the porch. 

“That was awesome, you know that, right?”

“Chris deserved it and I’d promised Paris I’d find her a date that wasn’t some vapid Hollywood type.” Jared shrugged. “It’s the least I could do for him after all the trough dunking.”

“Lucas!” 

They turned to the corral where April was riding Snowflake. 

“I need to go say goodbye to her.” Jared frowned. “That’s going to be hard. Do you think she’ll understand?”

“Yeah. I told her mom that you would be leaving today and she’s been working with April about it.”

They walked over to the gate and entered the corral. Matt had helped April down off the pony and she ran to Jared. He picked her up and hugged her tightly. “Hey, sweetheart. How are you?”

“Sad. You’re leaving.” Her voice was sad. 

“I know. I have to.”

“Momma told me.” She gripped tighter to him. “I’m sad though.”

“I am too.” Jared was at a loss as to what to say next. April’s mother thankfully stepped in.

“April, Jared is leaving because they are done helping him, and they need to be able to help other people.”

“Okay.” April placed a sloppy kiss on Jared’s cheek. “I love you, Lucas. I have to go ride Snowflake now.” She scrambled down from his arms and let Matt put her up on Snowflake’s back.

Jared turned to Mary. “That simple?”

She smiled back. “That simple.”

“So, can I call and see how she’s doing, or will that disrupt things?” 

“Not as long as you call when you say you will so there’s a bit of structure.” Mary smiled. “I think she’d like that.”

“Great.” They traded numbers as a sleek black SUV drove up to the front.

Chad jumped out. “The Chadmeister is here!”

“And late as usual.” Jared walked over and gave him a bro hug. “Have you missed me?”

“Heck no! I actually was able to sleep at night.” Chad tempered the insult with a grin. He stepped back and looked Jared over. “Man, you’re looking fit. This place must agree with you.”

“Yeah.” Jared looked back at Jensen, who was leaning against the fence and watching them. “More than you know.”

Chad’s eyes widened as they followed Jared’s gaze. “Wait. You and Ackles made up? Thank god!”

“Wait what?” Jared turned back to his friend. “What do you mean, ‘Thank god’?”

“Jared, I have been wanting you to fix it with Jensen since you guys split, but every time I’d bring it up, you got all crazy. So I stopped bringing it up. Didn’t mean I wasn’t secretly hoping it wouldn’t happen.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you felt that way?”

“Because you weren’t ready to listen then,” Chad said simply. “Now you are.” He gestured to Jensen. “Hey, Jensen, you ready to offload this goofball?” 

“Oh, I guess so. C’mon into the kitchen and we’ll do the paperwork.”

They headed back into the kitchen to find Chris telling Paris that he knew of a great little bar on 6th that they could go to after the auction. He finished up the call with a smile, handed Jared back his phone and said, “I gotta tell Steve,” before rushing out of the room.

Jared and Jensen smiled as Chad pulled out the paperwork from his briefcase. Jensen looked through it, signing where he needed to. 

“Here’s Jared’s exit paperwork for the court. Jeff signed off on it and everything is notarized, so you should be good to go.”

“Excellent.” Chad put the papers with his file and put everything back into his briefcase. They walked out onto the porch where Jared’s luggage was waiting. “Ready to go, Jay-man?”

Jared stood frozen. _No._ He wasn’t ready to go. Going meant leaving April and Chris and Felicia and Apollo and most of all – Jensen.

“I -.” He started.

“Chad, can you get Jared’s bags?” Jensen spoke softly.

“Sure.” Chad paused to look at them before he took the bags and loaded them into the SUV.

“Jay, look at me.”

Jared did. “Jensen. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you.”

“You’re not. You’re just going to work, which happens to be in another state.” Jensen caressed Jared’s cheek. “We have the tools to make this work, remember?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Jared mentally shook himself. “We can do this.”

“We can. And Jared?” Jensen smiled. “I just signed you out of the Pegasus Center. You’re no longer a client.”

It took Jared a moment to understand what Jensen was saying, but when it registered, he grabbed Jensen and crushed their mouths together.

Jensen tasted just like he remembered, only richer and _more._ They kissed for what seemed like hours until Chad coughed in the background.

“Sorry, guys. We’ve gotta go. Jared has a meeting this evening with his new producers.”

“Love you,” Jared whispered against Jensen’s neck. “I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

“Love you, too. I’ll be waiting.”

Letting Jensen go was the hardest thing Jared ever had to do. He climbed into the SUV and shut the door, knowing if he looked back at Jensen he would never leave.

They drove out of the Center, down the gravel road. Jared looked out the window to see Apollo galloping along the fence, his main and tail streaming in the wind.

Jared touched the window. “Goodbye, boy. I’ll see you soon. Both of you.”

_**Epilogue – A year later** _

The winter wind blew heavily around the house, whipping through the trees like a dying animal. Jensen had the fire roaring and passed on a beer for a big mug of hot chocolate with mini colored marshmallows. 

He settled himself in front of the television and turned to the E! Network. The red carpet parade didn't interest him until Jared appeared on the screen. 

He looked gorgeous in a deep blue Armani tux with an open collar white shirt and - Jensen smiled at this - big Texas belt buckle and cowboy boots. 

The talking head stuck a mic in his face. "So Jared, _Pegasus in Flight_ is up for multiple awards, including Best Actor _and_ Best Picture. This is a different style of movie than we normally see from you. What made you choose it and also produce it?" 

Jared smiled that million-dollar smile that sold tickets and made women - and men - swoon. "Well, Lisa, I was honored to meet a fantastic little girl who was in the equine therapy program that the movie is based on, so I put out feelers to see if there was a script out there that would do justice to her story. I was fortunate to find Jen and Carole's script and bought the rights to it. JPad Productions produced it so we could keep creative control."

"So is it true that you did this for scale?"

"You bet. Plus my portion of ticket sales is going into a fund to cover the expenses of the families who attend the Pegasus Center to help defray the costs of treatment."

"Wow, that's amazing. Well, good luck tonight."

"Thanks, Lisa."

Jensen switched to ABC for the main award presentation. He worked on paperwork for the Center while he waited for the Best Actor category. 

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone were the presenters, and Jared's segment came up first. 

"This intimate story of an autistic girl and the determined equine therapy instructor who was instrumental in breaking through to her has won the hearts of moviegoers across the country. Here's Jared Padalecki in 'Pegasus in Flight'."

Jensen watched the clip, marveling again how wonderful Jared was in the role of Lucas Forester. The camera shot went live on Jared once the clip was over, and he smiled and blew a two-fingered kiss to the camera. 

Jensen couldn’t remember the other clips; he was too nervous waiting for the results. Ryan and Emma bantered a bit, then got down to business.

“And the Oscar for Best Actor goes to…Jared Padalecki!”

The audience cheered as Jared headed to the stage, his long legs taking the steps two at a time. He grinned as he accepted the trophy.

Jensen saw him take a deep breath. “As I’m sure most of you know, last year, I made a big mistake and ended up in rehab.” The audience quieted down to really listen to him. “The Pegasus Center helped me and I knew I had to repay them somehow, and that’s how _Pegasus in Flight_ got made. I got to play Lucas only because of the people that worked there – Jeff, Chris, Felicia and the rest of the staff, but most of all, because of Jensen. This is for you, guys. Thank you for helping me get my life back.” Jared held the Oscar up and then headed for the wings.

Jensen sat back with a grin. One down, one to go. He knew that the movie was up for several other categories, including Best Director for Tom Ford, but Jared’s categories were all he was really interested in. He finished up the files and made himself another hot chocolate. Settling down he waited for the Best Picture category, which was always the last of the night.

Then it was time. Matt Bomer and Helen Mirren looked stunning in their formal finery. They ran through the list of nominees and then held up the envelope. Jensen clutched the handle of his mug. “C’mon, Pegasus.”

“And the winner of the Academy Award for Best Picture is… _Pegasus in Flight_!”

Jensen whooped, spilling hot chocolate down his shirt. He pulled it away from himself to avoid burning while he watched Jared hug several people as he loped back up onto the stage, where the rest of the cast and crew joined him.

“Wow, thank you all!” Jared held the Oscar and stared at it for a moment. “ _Pegasus in Flight_ couldn’t have happened without all the people you see here on stage, and all those at home who contributed. But most of all, it couldn’t have happened without a little girl named April.” Jared blew a kiss. “Hon, I know you’re not awake but your momma promised to record this for you. I’ll always be your Lucas, and I promise I’ll come visit soon. And Jensen? I love you.”

Jensen smiled as the closing music played and the credits rolled. He was so thrilled at Jared’s success. Sighing, he cleaned up the living room and stacked his files neatly on the coffee table. 

Heading to the kitchen, he took a side trip to the laundry room to find a clean shirt. Quickly rinsing the mug, he grabbed a bottle of water and headed back into the living room to stoke the fire. Pulling one of the blankets off the back of the couch, he curled up under it and waited for the fire to die down.

“Jensen, wake up, sweetheart.”

“Huh?” Groggily, Jensen opened an eye to see Jared standing over him. “Wha? What are you doing home?” He sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Thought you’d be partying with the rest of the winners.”

“Had the plane on standby.” Jared smiled.

Jensen looked at him. Jared was beautiful. He’d changed out of his Armani suit into faded jeans and an old Cowboys hoodie and was holding a backpack. “Why. Didn’t you have to do after-party stuff?”

“I made the rounds, did the interviews. Don’t worry, Alaina was happy. But I wanted to bring these home where they belonged.” Jared gently placed the backpack on the coffee table and unzipped it. He took out his two Oscars and placed them side-by-side. 

The gold figurines glowed in the low firelight.

“Oh my god, Jared. They’re gorgeous,” Jensen whispered. “And you deserve them so much. I’m so proud of you.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten them if it wasn’t for you.” Jared leaned forward and kissed Jensen. “Thank you so much.”

Jensen stood and wrapped himself around Jared, kissing him back with all the love he could muster. “I love you. We need to celebrate.”

“I love you too.” Jared replied with a small laugh. “But I am _really_ exhausted. Think we can wait until morning for that celebration?”

“Absolutely.” Jensen took his hand and led him upstairs. 

Tomorrow would come soon enough.

Fin

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Artwork for Pegasus Rising by Theatregirl7299](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730198) by [millygal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal)




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